If you’ve ever wondered why
Disney tales all end in lies
Here’s what happened after all their dreams came true 

[Ariel]
I loved being princess down in this beautiful ocean blue
But mermaids are going missing they end up in someone’s stew
So just try to put yourself into somebody else’s gills
You’re killing my ecosystem with fishing and oil spills
Thank you BP, thank you BP
The British are killing, oil is spilling
Now I can’t see!
China men feast on Flounder’s fins
Plus the Japanese killed all my whale friends
Oceans are browning
I think I’m drowning
Thanks to BP

[Jasmine]
Hey, I’m OK, but I’m slightly scared
My husband’s a mark for the War on Terror
Aladdin was taken by the CIA
We’re not Taliban
You’ve got the wrong man
In Guantanamo Bay
Prince Ali, where could he be, drowning in wawa
Interrogation from the nation of the “free”
Bin Laden’s taken the fall
We’re not trained pilots at all
Jafar went crazy and no one put up a fuss
We’re for freedom, Genie can vouch for us
Bush was crazy, Obama’s lazy, al-Qaeda’s not in this country
Set free my Prince Ali

[Belle]
A whore! A whore!
A whore, a whore, a whore!
This town’s gone wild since I married Adam
They think I’m going straight to hell
But the charges laid on me of bestiality
Could wind up getting me thrown in a cell
Oh, I’m overrun by mad men
I hear they plan to burn me at the stake
They legit believe I’m Satan
And now I hear that PETA’s gonna take my beast away

[Pocahontas]
After John Smith traveled back to England
I helped my people cultivate the fields
More English, French and Spaniards came to visit
And they greeted us with guns and germs and steel
They forced us into unknown lands of exile
They pillaged, raped and left us all for dead
So now I’m far more liberal with a weapon
When I separate their bodies from their heads
Have you ever held the entrails of an English guy?
Or bit the beating hearts of Spanish men?
Can you shoot an arrow in some French guy’s eyeball?
Can you paint with the red colors in these men?
I can murder if I please
Cause I’m dying of disease
I can paint with the red colors in these men

[Ariel] Thanks to BP
[Jasmine] Where’s Prince Ali?
[Belle] Bestiality
[Pocahontas] I’ve got STDs

Comments

OMG, I’m so happy with this masterpiece! I know I know I shouldn’t be happy, but I have reasons:

  1. This is a cappella,
  2. He has good voice,
  3. He is hilarious,
  4. He is talented (the fact that he wrote, sang, and recorded it himself), his imagination is so wild,
  5. (for bonus) He is good looking (for me) and he has a nice smile. :)

About a year later, he published the second one.

If you’ve ever wondered why
Disney tales all end in lies
Here’s what happened after all their dreams came true

[Mulan]
After saving China I went home alone
I was feeling conflicts in my lower zone
I’ve been dressing like a guy for months
Now I’m losing all control
I think I am a guy in my soul
I wanna be a man
[Soldier 1] I’ve never seen a guy so hot
Time to reinvent the new me
[Soldier 2] Every time he speaks it makes me want to sing
[Soldier 1] Be quiet, or we’ll get caught
[Soldier 3] Maybe one day he’ll screw me
Now I really get why my nickname is Ping
I’ve gotta be a man
I’ve got the brains and the bite of females
Plus the brute and the brawn of dudes
I know I’m ready for transformation
It’s time to replace all these useless tubes

[Cinderella]
The prince was absolutely the only single wish my heart made
Guess my wish came true
But we never really talked much
Before he discovered my shoe
The night after we got married
I recounted all of my plights
Of how I fit inside a pumpkin
My canines turned to coachmen
Prince threw me in Bedlam that night
The white jackets say I’m nutty
Cause my clothes are sewn by rats
But their pills turn my brain to putty
Now Lucifer’s not just my cat
Their insulin puts me under
Shock therapy’s made me insane
And after years of steady frying
The doctors gave up trying
They stuck two steel rods in my brain

[Tiana]
I spent a blooming lifetime
To open my cafe
Then I took a dive in 2005
Now it’s washed away
I was picked up by a chopper
After four nights on my roof
Now my new home is the Astrodome
Cause New Orleans ain’t Katrina proof
Ya better carry ’round a shotgun
Or looters take your kids
Ya better pee inside of jam jars
Be sure to keep those lids
Now, we needed Noah but we got Bush
Our “savior” flew away and hid
Rough seas and levees, I’m dead

[Elsa]
There is no snow on the mountain tonight
Just sulfur in the air
A kingdom of greenhouse gases
Only Bill Nye seems to care
My town is melting, breaking off into the sea
It’s time I show the strength of an evil queen
With Germany and Putin too
I’ll free the penguins and throw you in a zoo
We’re going green by spilling red
And if you’re not dead
I built a hoard of evil snowmen
They’re gonna take over the world
Let it snow, let it snow
Now Fox News will need heat lamps
Let it snow, let it snow
I hope you concentrate in camp
We don’t care who we have to slay
Let my troops march on
The cold’s coming back and it’s here to stay

[Tiana] I sunk like a brick
[Cinderella] Prince thinks I’m sick
[Elsa] Ice is melting quick
[Mulan] Now I have a lot of self esteem

I wonder, will he make the third one? Cause we still have Snow White, Aurora, Rapunzel, Merida and Moana.

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